Dear coffee… Thank you for making me a better mother

imageJust published on The Motherish

I sometimes struggle to espresso myself, but the time has come to give an appreciative nod of gratitude to that which gets me through the day. Coffee, my old friend. Always there when I need you; making me a better mother, nay, a better human.

Motherhood is like a macchiato. Long, at times sweet (depending on what you add to it), and by definition, stained with milk.

For me, being a mum is without doubt the sweetest job of all but it’s still a gig that oftentimes isn’t exactly a leisurely walk in the park, thermo travel mug in hand. But if you’re lucky, there’s at the very least a Starbucks on the way there. It’s not exactly a fine artisan brew, but it will do….Because, caffeine.

Coffee gives me the right answer when one of my three year olds is inconsolable because her toast has bread on it. Coffee tells me how to react when the other asks a gorgeous little Indian boy in the playground why he’s covered in chocolate cake. Coffee isn’t one to question why (over and over and over again), coffee doesn’t cry when you brush its hair. Coffee doesn’t even have hair! And if it does, somebody better sort that shit out. Coffee doesn’t look at you with a gleeful smugness at any opportunity it gets and say “you were wrong mummy, you were wrong”.

I have to confess, much as I love it, sometimes mum life makes me feel flat. Overheated. Bitter. Much like a badly made cappuccino. But coffee gives me a filter. When asked how I am by an unsuspecting check-out operator, coffee helps me respond perkily with “I’m good thank you, how are you?” Rather than responding with how I might really feel. Coffee stops me from saying “How am I? How does it look like I am? I accidentally used hot pink lip liner as an eyebrow pencil this morning and just left it like that because I was proud I managed to even get any make up on my face at all. My twins are systematically unfizzing the mineral water and turning the exorbitantly overpriced avocados into guacamole. I can’t bend over in these jeans to pick up the $5 I just dropped, because my ass crack pokes out the top since they’re still slightly too small after having a baby six months ago, but I’m squeezing into them anyway because I don’t have time to shop for more. My dog is at home destroying the outdoor furniture as we speak and I think I have vomit in my hair. But it could be poo. Jury’s out. Thanks for asking.” Thanks coffee, for helping me keep my mouth otherwise occupied. I like your style, I like it a latte.

In life, I’m definitely pro-caffeniating and generally procrastinating. A happy brew helps to get me through the daily grind, when I feel like I’m being stretched too thinly. Parenting is just easier with coffee. When you’re a mum, you’ve got to extract the best out of every moment, because the quality that comes out is generally reflected by the effort that’s put in. All for the sheer love of it.

So whether you look at life and parenting with the view that the coffee cup is half empty, instead of the coffee cup is half full.. Either way, at least there’s coffee.

This insight to the deep recesses of my intricate mind was originally written for and published by The MotherishΒ 

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16 thoughts on “Dear coffee… Thank you for making me a better mother

  1. Oh yeah! Coffee is every parents form of drugs these days. We are all druggies walking around with our stash. It’s the only thing that keeps us sane (and alive). Thanks coffee, you rock. Good post. x

    Like

  2. I saw this of on ‘Life, kids and a glass of red wine’ Facebook page and just had to come over. This is so perfectly written. So spot on that I smiled through every line.
    I have a mug that says “I love you more than coffee but don’t make me prove it” Pretty much sums up parenting for me πŸ˜‰
    I am sharing this everywhere as it is just fab!

    Like

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