Kindy day 1: Am I doing it right???? Probably not.

imageThe morning of the first day of kindy for my twins started like any other day really;

Après breakfast “impromptu” photoshoot whereby I force my first born children to snuggle up to me lovingly in appropriate lighting in order to replicate the wonder and emotion of their early years of life, before embarking on the big new adventure that is the public education system, whilst wondering what I have stuck to the sole of my foot.

imagePhrases like “what is that face you’re making” and “can you please not do that with your head” and subsequent “can you please not lick your elbow while we are taking the photo” type remarks, along with veiled threats along the lines of “if you can’t sit nicely for the photo you can’t go to kindy” may or may not have been involved in this process.

After forcing aforementioned twins to sit and stand in multiple locations in order to capture the very essence of their (my) slowly disappearing youth on film (iPhone) at which to marvel at a later date (when Facebook shares this memory with me in six years time), I move on to creating a frenzied atmosphere of semi chaos in and around the kitchen and living room in order to make sure everything is ready in time.

And by “on time” I mean half an hour before we even need to think about leaving. Because I’m that person.

And by “everything” I mean packing the lunch boxes I pretty much had made up the night before anyway (because, again, I’m that person).

imageThis was followed by ensuring the kids were dressed in clothes I only sort of like because they will inevitably be besmirched with non washable “washable paint” and/or vegemite and/or other unidentifiable substances that day.

But, and this is an important distinction, not clothes so ugly that other mothers will mentally cross me off their “potential future mum friend” list when they cast eyes on the spawn of my loins wearing “these are the ugly clothes given to me by relatives”.

I then shower and get dressed in an attempt to make myself just presentable enough to look “potential future mums friend” approachable but not so presentable I look like one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

This may be the first time I have been showered and dressed before 8am in the last three years.

It may also be the last time.

We then sit around aimlessly for half an hour while the twins pepper the room with comments like “can we go yet?” and “is it kindy time yet” as I wistfully imagine a life where my children are so bonded and attached to me that they can hardly stand to entertain the thought of being out of my company.

Further “can.we.GO.yet”ing ensues.

As I pile them into the car, and my husband and 14 month old daughter Rosie come to wave us off, Rosie throws me a bone and says “mama” accompanied by a beseeching outstretched hand and quivering bottom lip and simultaneously puts meaning back into my life with the mere suggestion that one of my children prefers me to their daddy. Rosie,  workin’ the third child system like.a.boss.

Is it any wonder they say the third child is always the favourite?

Do they say that?

Or is that just me? #classicthirdchildsyndrome

image
You thought I was kidding, I wasn’t.
We arrive at kindy and I force them to stand for one more “impromptu” not-at-all-planned-in-my-head-before-we-arrived photo shoot in front of the kindy sign because that’s how much I love them.

On entering, it feels like an unnavigable foreign land adorned with plastic buckets and backpacks and ziplock bags and sticker charts and bark chips, and because it wouldn’t be a day in the life of me if I didn’t make a small to medium sized ass of myself in some way, I proceed to find the coolest, most effortlessly chic, yet fashionably nonchalant woman there, mistake her for a kindergarten employee, and subsequently have her writing name tags on sticky labels for my children and showing me where the lunches and bags go.

It’s only when she has extricated herself from my company that it becomes apparent that she isn’t actually a kindy teacher and that I’ve probably just been mentally crossed off the first (but probably not the last) “potential mum friend” list of the day.

I stand around awkwardly for awhile watching as my kids give less than two shits about whether I’ve left or not, randomly yelling out “Henry and Tilly I’m still here”, insert desperate wave here, followed by “love you”, blow kisses etc.

Mentally congratulate myself for having such confident, independent and self assured kids whilst half heartedly wishing a tiny bit that one of them cling to my leg for like four seconds.

Go and find (and hug????????????????) their teacher from the previous years pre-kindy class.

As you do.

She asked sympathetically if I am teary, which I’m honestly not even though I felt like I should be since the guy at the woollies deli counter had told me the day before I should pack tissues when he was small-talking me over small goods about first day jitters.

I’m actually pretty sure that glassy eyed look I have going on might be a combination of having been awake since 5:30am and the thirteen year old mascara I poked into my eyeball that morning in my hurried efforts to achieve approachable, non-real housewives, I just woke up like this and we should be friends eye make up. But after my affection deprived embrace of a woman I barely know I feel like I should play up my emotional fragility.

Stand around for awhile longer wondering what to do before offering up 17 more “I’m really going now”s and approximately 8 and a half thousand hugs each (to my children as opposed to kindy teachers or people I may or may not have mistaken for kindy teachers, just to clarify).

Check their lunches are still in the appropriate place in order to look like I’m doing something other than milling around aimlessly wanting to be wanted and come to the belated conclusion (FINALLY) that I may as well go home.

Go home.

Drink coffee.

Wildly clean the house which looks like it hasn’t been cleaned since 2010 as Rosie watches on as though she’s never seen me sweep the floor before 🤔 and eats a banana. And by eating I mean throws the actual banana on the floor and chews the banana skin for ten minutes before pointing to another banana.

Do just enough cleaning and putting things in less obvious places so as to render the illusion that I’ve been cleaning all day.

Put Rosie down for her lunch time sleep and proceed to spend the next couple of hours writing a blog about the first day of kindy that will be read by approximately 14 people while I could be sitting on the couch stalking Harry Styles my celebrity crushes on Instagram.

So this is being a kindy mum huh?

I’ve never felt so alive.
Thanks to amazing illustrator Mike Lowery for allowing me to use his drawing for the title image of this post! 

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35 thoughts on “Kindy day 1: Am I doing it right???? Probably not.

  1. I literally laughed out loud reading this… Thank you for brightening my otherwise boring day at work (yes, I’m reading your blog while tuning out the sound of my potentially super busy co-worker).
    Don’t worry about the chic lady, I’m sure she’ll wanna be your friend once she finds out how cool you are. And if she doesn’t, least you have the teacher onside.
    My little one is almost 12 months old so the school years are a little way away yet but I can imagine our (her?) first day would go something similar to what you’ve described 😂😂. Hope the kiddies give you big hugs when you pick them up xx

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    1. Oh that’s awesome! I’m so glad I gave you a laugh at work. You’re probably right, surely super cool non kindy employee mum will come around when she realises I’m the perfect mix of awkward and funny Lolol orrrrrr not 😂

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  2. Making mum friends at school is cut throat. I think at one stage I actually almost asked someone straight out if they would be my friend… Total embarrassment! Love how you dressed the kids just nice enough so they’re not feral, but ok if they get paint on clothes 🙂

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  3. Oh thank god. I feel like such a cold-hearted shrew when I tell people that I’ve never cried at key milestones like the first day of school or birth or whatever. I was excited. And relieved. I don’t get all emo about this shit.

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    1. I was pretty well shoving them out the door. I had an imaginary advent calendar counting down to the day kindy was due to start .. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve said “they need kindy” in the last 8 weeks!! And by they, i mean me. Obviously. Lol

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  4. You sound like you did well. Sort of. I don’t know how Mums are supposed to act when their kids go to kindy for the first time. I’m not that parent, yet. But you sound normal. Sort of.

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  5. I was a little teary when my first born started kindy. At the time he was my only child. Then I had twins and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face when they started kindy. I walked back in the door at home and felt like I was doing something very illegal….couldn’t believe I had two hours to myself!!! Eventually the two hours felt too short and I was relieved when they started school and I got six hours…..eventually the six hours felt too short….lol

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      1. Lots of kindys are zoned so you can narrow choices down based on where you live which helps lol! You’ll be right tho I know people who didn’t enrol until like a couple of months beforehand! You are ahead of the game!!!

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    1. Lol you are so welcome. I’m looking forward to what I wore the kindy drop off edition next year!! Haha. Seriously I looked like a dick. But I generally do. I went skinny jeans and a baseball tee. I don’t even know what they’re called . You know those tops with three quarter sleeves and the chest is white and the sleeves are another colour!? You know these things I’m sure. Lol

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      1. Revisted this post after our first transition day yesterday. I wore khaki anorak, striped tee and skinny jeans with Converse. Bought Miss L a new cardi so she didn’t look a complete urchin. Then got invited to fundraiser disco tonight, Miss L was keen so have gone back to Cotton On Kids for appropriate tizzy skirt and sequinned unicorn top. Would like to say I won’t dance but if they drop any of my jams, I can’t make any promises.

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  6. I’ve been waiting for this post Liv! What a special milestone for your twins… I hope they enjoyed their day, and hope you continue to enjoy those quiet times while Rosie naps at home. I’m finding I’m actually enjoying cleaning the house when Miss M is at CC and baby is napping… WHAT THE?!?
    Let’s do coffee soon xox

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  7. Awww its hard watching your kids go off to Kindy and be all excited about being there, when secretly all you want to hear is “Mumma don’t go!” or have them attached to your leg. Unfortunately, for me, my youngest loooves preschool and has never had a day when she wasn’t excited to be there. As soon as we walk through the gate she’s off. I still get a little upset that there isn’t just a few tears or “I’ll miss you Mumma”. I’m going to be a wreck when she starts Kindergarten next year. 😦

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    1. Lol my kids ask on the weekend if they can go to kindy.. And on half days cry cos they want to stay the whole day..
      I’m getting a complex 😂 my son did tell me last night that he loved me a little bit more than kindy tho so that’s something hahaha

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  8. Hello,

    I just discovered your blog, it’s really funny!

    However, the first image you used in this post threw me off… Isn’t it an illustration from Mike Lowery? Did he give you permission to use it? Did you commission it from him?

    If you did, I’m sorry! If you didn’t, please write Mike, and ask him if you can use it. (He probably will let you as long as you credit him, but it’s his decision… After all, it’s his work, and he should be compensated for it.)

    Cheers,
    Diana

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    1. Hi Diana, thanks for the compliments on my blog and for alerting me to this. I’m not one hundred percent certain it IS a mike lowery image but I can’t say it isn’t either. It popped up uncredited on my Pinterest account posted by someone else so I was unable to link it. I’ll look into it 🙂

      Cheers!

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      1. Thanks for following up on that! I appreciate it.

        Be careful because you can really get in trouble for using images that aren’t yours… I know you didn’t do it with malice, but it’s stealing. Some bloggers have been taken to court for this, like Roni Loren, this is a great article about it: http://www.blogher.com/bloggers-beware-you-can-get-sued-using-photos-your-blog-my-story

        I’m an illustrator myself, and I can tell you that I get mad every time I find people using my work without my permission. It happens aaaall the time. People crop my name out of the picture, and then I find the image in Pinterest, Tumblr, etc. But even if they don’t have my name, those images are still mine, and it can mean a loss of income for me.

        Thanks for doing the right thing, and keep up the blog!

        Best wishes,
        Diana.

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      2. I can completely understand that and it must be an endless source of frustration. I bet it does happen a lot – like you said, people don’t do it out of malice but I think there’s a certain amount of ignorance about what’s appropriate and how to find and use images online! Anyway I’m always open to feedback and of course wouldn’t even deliberately so the wrong thing! Anyway – mike contacted me back, he was totally fine with it and happy for me to credit him. Which I will do! Just got to make an edit to the page 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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