50 fast facts you never knew you always wanted to know

1.  If I can hear you chew, I have fantasised about your death.

2. Real pain is when you offer someone some of your food to be polite and they actually take it.

3. I don’t call anyone. I’m basically paying $100 a month to decline incoming calls, forget to Continue reading

20 lessons from my kids first year of kindy 

imageMy twins starting kindergarten was the proverbial light at the end of the [slightly worn] [not quite as tight as it used to be][prone to occasional leakage] stay at home mum tunnel. And despite a shaky start [for me], I’m now that mum tyre squealing away at 9:01, belting out George Michael’s “Freedom” at the top of her lungs.

As we enter the final term of kindy, ahead of Continue reading

Life in the madhouse: have three kids!

Despite the fact that I’ve been told I really only have two children because my first were twins [please tell me this when I am singlehandedly trying to extricate three small, wilful individuals who have suddenly lost the ability to move their own limbs with any degree of coordination, from their car seats, in the rain, whilst a stream of traffic is waiting for me to shut the door and 2 out of 4 of us need Continue reading

Lesson #647 learnt the hard way: don’t lie in front of your kids (unless you want this to happen) 

imageAs a parent I’ve learnt many lessons along the way. Important lessons, life affirming lessons, lessons I perhaps wish I didn’t have cause to learn.

Things like the fact that everything I ever said or thought about having children before I had them was bullshit. (Insert blanket apology to anyone I ever spoke to Continue reading