We coped with the devastating and shocking blow that was the Brangelina split with no more disbelief, outrage and questioning of what love even is anymore than anyone heavily invested in the relationship of complete strangers might have. Continue reading
And occasionally some short lived contrition for being mad at my husband purely because he’s not Harry Styles.
When I have the emotional space for indulging myself in other forms of conscience Continue reading
Despite the fact that I’ve been told I really only have two children because my first were twins [please tell me this when I am singlehandedly trying to extricate three small, wilful individuals who have suddenly lost the ability to move their own limbs with any degree of coordination, from their car seats, in the rain, whilst a stream of traffic is waiting for me to shut the door and 2 out of 4 of us need Continue reading
Wiping your child’s ass is a delicate balance between breathing through your mouth so as to eliminate the invasive odour, but simultaneously attempting to avoid actually inhaling an entire sewerage systems worth of invisible poo particles into your mouth, mid wipe.
I know this because it is an elegant waltz of malodour and thinly veiled repulsion Continue reading
Things like the fact that everything I ever said or thought about having children before I had them was bullshit. (Insert blanket apology to anyone I ever spoke to Continue reading
Truth be told, anyone that knows me in slightly more depth than my aesthetically pleasing Instagram feed and my strategic choice of Facebook profile pictures, may well take issue with the suggestion that I was ever, in fact, cool.
I’m just putting it out there… But possibly, (and I appreciate Continue reading
It’s not so much a fear of flying as such, but rather a fear of plummeting to my untimely death.
If I’m going to Continue reading
In my three and a half years as a parent, I feel like I’ve learned more than I did in the whole of year eleven high school. The lessons your children can teach you are frequent, varied, sometimes painful and often to the detriment of the tenuous remains of your social dignity. And for me, almost always learned the hard way.
Let me just say Continue reading
And just for a little bit of unnecessary clarification…
(adjective) Continue reading
Not just carrying it. Swinging it beside me. Swinging it with carefree abandon.
Aforementioned small swinging handbag contains my wallet, lipgloss, phone, a pair of many times lost and miraculously found again cheap imitation sunglasses, about 17 Continue reading