Dear mum guilt, you’re a bitch

img_6768So, in my day to day life, a lot of my guilt quota is consumed [quite literally] with feeling bad about something I ate.

And occasionally some short lived contrition for being mad at my husband purely because he’s not Harry Styles.

When I have the emotional space for indulging myself in other forms of conscience Continue reading

Owned: parenting like a sucker

Wiping your child’s ass is a delicate balance between breathing through your mouth so as to eliminate the invasive odour, but simultaneously attempting to avoid actually inhaling an entire sewerage systems worth of invisible poo particles into your mouth, mid wipe.

I know this because it is an elegant waltz of malodour and thinly veiled repulsion Continue reading

Lesson #647 learnt the hard way: don’t lie in front of your kids (unless you want this to happen) 

imageAs a parent I’ve learnt many lessons along the way. Important lessons, life affirming lessons, lessons I perhaps wish I didn’t have cause to learn.

Things like the fact that everything I ever said or thought about having children before I had them was bullshit. (Insert blanket apology to anyone I ever spoke to Continue reading