In the interests of total transparency, I’ve only watched the first 15 minutes of a Marie Kondo episode on Netflix and to be honest, thinking about being inspired to clean up sounds, like… really tiring to me.
What I’ve deduced from the few minutes of watching what appears to be the most uptight person in the world ethereally thanking old underwear for serving their purpose, is that if I apply the Marie Kondo method to my life, I’d be standing pantsless in my empty home in a Hanson t-shirt from 1997, surrounded by every book I’ve ever owned. Continue reading
OK, so you might have heard a lot about how “parent sex” is basically what happens in the bathroom with the door locked in the 5 minutes the kids are distracted by ABC2.
I’m not gonna lie though, Continue reading
Sometimes I think I’d have reconsidered my position on procreation if I had known then what I know now about school drop off and pick up.
My kids are still young, so I’m not yet at the point where I can just join the line of oversized 4WD’s banked up Continue reading
Friendship as a parent is often just an exercise in two people planning to catch up, cancelling, forgetting to press send on the next text message and then tagging each other in funny memes on Facebook until you die.
Safe to say, it’s not actually easy maintaining adult friendships through the chaos Continue reading
So far, only a few days out from the end of 2017, my “don’t have an affair with Chris Hemsworth” resolution is going great! And if I could just manage to stop letting my children get in the way of me eating an entire tub of ice cream in one sitting then I may just realise my dream of being crowned the queen of cellulite. #soclose Continue reading
Disclaimer: If you’re part of my family or friends or know me in real life in any capacity, see me at school drop off, might run into me randomly at the supermarket somehow, work with my husband or just generally think I look familiar and you may have met me once, you should probably stop reading this post at this point because it contains more information about my nether regions than you probably need know about. Continue reading
Ahh Christmas. A time for joy, peace, love, celebration and the elaborate charade of moving a lifeless, plastic-faced, vacant eyed, omnipresent stuffed elf from place to place in your home every night just after you’ve fallen asleep on the couch at 8pm.
Because nothing keeps the magic of Christmas alive Continue reading
It is no secret that I have been silently mouthing GTFO of my house behind the backs of my five year old twins since abbbbouuuut day
fourteen seven three of the summer holidays.
In fact, I was pretty confident [some may use the word ‘smug’ even] that come January 30 I was going to be gleefully hand balling Continue reading
Now I don’t know as much about parenting as Pete Evans, but what I will tell you is that I’ve discovered parenting is a lot easier when I’m not around my kids.
As one might imagine, school holidays have made this dynamic incredibly difficult. Continue reading
1. If I can hear you chew, I have fantasised about your death.
2. Real pain is when you offer someone some of your food to be polite and they actually take it.
3. I don’t call anyone. I’m basically paying $100 a month to decline incoming calls, forget to Continue reading