OK, so you might have heard a lot about how “parent sex” is basically what happens in the bathroom with the door locked in the 5 minutes the kids are distracted by ABC2.
I’m not gonna lie though, Continue reading
Life
Top 10 secrets of the school run
Sometimes I think I’d have reconsidered my position on procreation if I had known then what I know now about school drop off and pick up.
My kids are still young, so I’m not yet at the point where I can just join the line of oversized 4WD’s banked up Continue reading
25 NY resolutions you might actually keep
So far, only a few days out from the end of 2017, my “don’t have an affair with Chris Hemsworth” resolution is going great! And if I could just manage to stop letting my children get in the way of me eating an entire tub of ice cream in one sitting then I may just realise my dream of being crowned the queen of cellulite. #soclose Continue reading
The first day of school; so this is how that went
It is no secret that I have been silently mouthing GTFO of my house behind the backs of my five year old twins since abbbbouuuut day fourteen seven three of the summer holidays.
In fact, I was pretty confident [some may use the word ‘smug’ even] that come January 30 I was going to be gleefully hand balling Continue reading
50 fast facts you never knew you always wanted to know
1. If I can hear you chew, I have fantasised about your death.
2. Real pain is when you offer someone some of your food to be polite and they actually take it.
3. I don’t call anyone. I’m basically paying $100 a month to decline incoming calls, forget to Continue reading
Kindy day 1: Am I doing it right???? Probably not.
The morning of the first day of kindy for my twins started like any other day really;
Après breakfast “impromptu” photoshoot whereby I force my first born children to snuggle up to me lovingly in appropriate lighting in order to replicate the wonder and emotion of Continue reading
When life gives you emojis
At the risk of making it appear as though I don’t have a lot going on in my life (I don’t)… Bachelor finales, the surprise appearance of new Instagram filters, long awaited announcements regarding hotly debated emoji updates, and pretty much anything involving Grant Denyer, all elicit pretty extreme responses in me. The kind prompting the excitable, trembly fingered Continue reading
Meet the fam-bam
Part 1, section A
Eenie meenie miney mum
Aka: Liv
Purveyor of big words and failed attempts at hilarity. Lover of bed socks and boy bands; peonies and Polaroids. Continue reading
My boobs weren’t smart enough to breastfeed
These are the two little faces of my now three year old twins when they were but five weeks young. Two little faces balled up, red as beets and screaming. The two little faces that met me in our darkened bedroom at 1am. Or 3am. Or 6am. Or all of them. Because, babies. Hungry.
Terrifying. Continue reading
Blogstagram
All the cool kids are doing it!
I know, I know… 6 followers! But hey, I never said I was the cool kid in the classroom. And we’re only new! From these humble beginnings we will reach world domination.
This blog has been a little idea in the back of my head for about 5 years now. Continue reading
