OK, so you might have heard a lot about how “parent sex” is basically what happens in the bathroom with the door locked in the 5 minutes the kids are distracted by ABC2.
I’m not gonna lie though, Continue reading
mumblog
25 NY resolutions you might actually keep
So far, only a few days out from the end of 2017, my “don’t have an affair with Chris Hemsworth” resolution is going great! And if I could just manage to stop letting my children get in the way of me eating an entire tub of ice cream in one sitting then I may just realise my dream of being crowned the queen of cellulite. #soclose Continue reading
Grey Expectations: The Tale of two pubic hairs
Disclaimer: If you’re part of my family or friends or know me in real life in any capacity, see me at school drop off, might run into me randomly at the supermarket somehow, work with my husband or just generally think I look familiar and you may have met me once, you should probably stop reading this post at this point because it contains more information about my nether regions than you probably need know about. Continue reading
The first day of school; so this is how that went
It is no secret that I have been silently mouthing GTFO of my house behind the backs of my five year old twins since abbbbouuuut day fourteen seven three of the summer holidays.
In fact, I was pretty confident [some may use the word ‘smug’ even] that come January 30 I was going to be gleefully hand balling Continue reading
Merry Birthmas – a lazy mum’s guide to December birthdays
At the risk of offending anyone with a healthy dose of too much information, my husband and I are March breeders.
I don’t know what they’re putting in the water come autumn, but it must be a little shoo-wop shoo-waddy-waddy yippity boom-de-boom, because when we were trying to conceive, before you could say chang-chang Continue reading
20 lessons from my kids first year of kindy
My twins starting kindergarten was the proverbial light at the end of the [slightly worn] [not quite as tight as it used to be][prone to occasional leakage] stay at home mum tunnel. And despite a shaky start [for me], I’m now that mum tyre squealing away at 9:01, belting out George Michael’s “Freedom” at the top of her lungs.
As we enter the final term of kindy, ahead of Continue reading
The 5 stages of surviving a statewide power failure
I like to think we’re prepared for most things in our household.
We coped with the devastating and shocking blow that was the Brangelina split with no more disbelief, outrage and questioning of what love even is anymore than anyone heavily invested in the relationship of complete strangers might have. Continue reading
Dear mum guilt, you’re a bitch
So, in my day to day life, a lot of my guilt quota is consumed [quite literally] with feeling bad about something I ate.
And occasionally some short lived contrition for being mad at my husband purely because he’s not Harry Styles.
When I have the emotional space for indulging myself in other forms of conscience Continue reading
My #mumlife makeup routine
I’m at that point in life where I consider brushing my hair as making an effort, so you can imagine my ongoing disgruntlement over the fact that I don’t awaken each morning looking like a glowing, charmingly freckled, incredibly wealthy, fresh faced, Blake Lively. Due to unfortunate circumstances known as genetics, my face doesn’t do that. Nor do I wake up Continue reading
Life in the madhouse: have three kids!
Despite the fact that I’ve been told I really only have two children because my first were twins [please tell me this when I am singlehandedly trying to extricate three small, wilful individuals who have suddenly lost the ability to move their own limbs with any degree of coordination, from their car seats, in the rain, whilst a stream of traffic is waiting for me to shut the door and 2 out of 4 of us need Continue reading
