Wiping your child’s ass is a delicate balance between breathing through your mouth so as to eliminate the invasive odour, but simultaneously attempting to avoid actually inhaling an entire sewerage systems worth of invisible poo particles into your mouth, mid wipe.
I know this because it is an elegant waltz of malodour and thinly veiled repulsion Continue reading
If there’s anything I’ve learnt since becoming a parent (and there are many weird and wonderful things), it’s that kids make your house a home.
And by home, I mean the place where toys go to die.
For there was a time in the not too distant past Continue reading
As a parent I’ve learnt many lessons along the way. Important lessons, life affirming lessons, lessons I perhaps wish I didn’t have cause to learn.
Things like the fact that everything I ever said or thought about having children before I had them was bullshit. (Insert blanket apology to anyone I ever spoke to Continue reading
The morning of the first day of kindy for my twins started like any other day really;
Après breakfast “impromptu” photoshoot whereby I force my first born children to snuggle up to me lovingly in appropriate lighting in order to replicate the wonder and emotion of Continue reading
The closest my husband and I usually come to “date night” is eating sticky date pudding on the couch.
Actually I’m eating the pudding.
And my husband’s asleep.
And I’m not even mad about it. Continue reading
At the risk of making it appear as though I don’t have a lot going on in my life (I don’t)… Bachelor finales, the surprise appearance of new Instagram filters, long awaited announcements regarding hotly debated emoji updates, and pretty much anything involving Grant Denyer, all elicit pretty extreme responses in me. The kind prompting the excitable, trembly fingered Continue reading
It would be pretty damn perfect. #Blessed even. And not in the ironic way that is my general preference.
My house would be tidy and styled to within an inch of its on trend life. Not just in the one corner in which I choose to arrange the only three stylish items I even own. That were Continue reading
So no one is going to accuse me of running rancho relaxo at my house.
I recently confessed that I was always going to be a routine mum, and having twins just gave me a good excuse to use when other people gave me shit about the army boot camp regime that masquerades as the running of my household. I’ve Continue reading
The prospect of flying with children is probably enough to give anyone a moderate case of the “who needs a holiday anyways”.
However, as a person who loves travel and now a parent of three young apprentice humans, I’ve had the dubious pleasure of Continue reading
I’m a reluctant airline passenger at the best of times. I love holidaying, but the prospect of actually getting to my destination is not thrilling to me.
It’s not so much a fear of flying as such, but rather a fear of plummeting to my untimely death.
If I’m going to Continue reading