Despite the fact that I’ve been told I really only have two children because my first were twins [please tell me this when I am singlehandedly trying to extricate three small, wilful individuals who have suddenly lost the ability to move their own limbs with any degree of coordination, from their car seats, in the rain, whilst a stream of traffic is waiting for me to shut the door and 2 out of 4 of us need Continue reading
Wiping your child’s ass is a delicate balance between breathing through your mouth so as to eliminate the invasive odour, but simultaneously attempting to avoid actually inhaling an entire sewerage systems worth of invisible poo particles into your mouth, mid wipe.
I know this because it is an elegant waltz of malodour and thinly veiled repulsion Continue reading
This week my lonely letter box, the one that has been distinctly lacking in top secret online shopping deliveries, because of a little thing I like to call our bank balance, instead has been inundated with catalogues awash with a myriad of fabliss ideas for Mother’s Day.
And the word awash seems irritatingly appropriate Continue reading
Things like the fact that everything I ever said or thought about having children before I had them was bullshit. (Insert blanket apology to anyone I ever spoke to Continue reading
Actually I’m eating the pudding.
And my husband’s asleep.
And I’m not even mad about it. Continue reading
Truth be told, anyone that knows me in slightly more depth than my aesthetically pleasing Instagram feed and my strategic choice of Facebook profile pictures, may well take issue with the suggestion that I was ever, in fact, cool.
I’m just putting it out there… But possibly, (and I appreciate Continue reading
At the risk of making it appear as though I don’t have a lot going on in my life (I don’t)… Bachelor finales, the surprise appearance of new Instagram filters, long awaited announcements regarding hotly debated emoji updates, and pretty much anything involving Grant Denyer, all elicit pretty extreme responses in me. The kind prompting the excitable, trembly fingered Continue reading