Disclaimer: If you’re part of my family or friends or know me in real life in any capacity, see me at school drop off, might run into me randomly at the supermarket somehow, work with my husband or just generally think I look familiar and you may have met me once, you should probably stop reading this post at this point because it contains more information about my nether regions than you probably need know about. Continue reading
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50 fast facts you never knew you always wanted to know
1. If I can hear you chew, I have fantasised about your death.
2. Real pain is when you offer someone some of your food to be polite and they actually take it.
3. I don’t call anyone. I’m basically paying $100 a month to decline incoming calls, forget to Continue reading
My #mumlife makeup routine
I’m at that point in life where I consider brushing my hair as making an effort, so you can imagine my ongoing disgruntlement over the fact that I don’t awaken each morning looking like a glowing, charmingly freckled, incredibly wealthy, fresh faced, Blake Lively. Due to unfortunate circumstances known as genetics, my face doesn’t do that. Nor do I wake up Continue reading
Owned: parenting like a sucker
Wiping your child’s ass is a delicate balance between breathing through your mouth so as to eliminate the invasive odour, but simultaneously attempting to avoid actually inhaling an entire sewerage systems worth of invisible poo particles into your mouth, mid wipe.
I know this because it is an elegant waltz of malodour and thinly veiled repulsion Continue reading
6 design aesthetics for parents
If there’s anything I’ve learnt since becoming a parent (and there are many weird and wonderful things), it’s that kids make your house a home.
And by home, I mean the place where toys go to die.
For there was a time in the not too distant past Continue reading
The Good Dinosaur: a review and other social mishaps
I’m going to be up front here and say that I dig dinosaurs.
In the ‘I really really like them’ way, not the ‘I’m a paleontologist’ way…just to be clear.
Ever since 1988 when a younger, more fresh faced, 6 year old version of myself first laid eyes Continue reading
14 things no one told me about having twins
“There are two heartbeats”
“WHAT??? My baby has two hearts????”
“No…”
(you fool)
“…it’s twins”
“Oh… right…! Continue reading
The day I realised I’m no longer cool; (and thank you for noticing)
Truth be told, anyone that knows me in slightly more depth than my aesthetically pleasing Instagram feed and my strategic choice of Facebook profile pictures, may well take issue with the suggestion that I was ever, in fact, cool.
I’m just putting it out there… But possibly, (and I appreciate Continue reading
When life gives you emojis
At the risk of making it appear as though I don’t have a lot going on in my life (I don’t)… Bachelor finales, the surprise appearance of new Instagram filters, long awaited announcements regarding hotly debated emoji updates, and pretty much anything involving Grant Denyer, all elicit pretty extreme responses in me. The kind prompting the excitable, trembly fingered Continue reading
Flying: with kids versus without kids
The prospect of flying with children is probably enough to give anyone a moderate case of the “who needs a holiday anyways”.
However, as a person who loves travel and now a parent of three young apprentice humans, I’ve had the dubious pleasure of Continue reading
eenie meenie miney mum 