Grey Expectations: The Tale of two pubic hairs

December 19, 2017 ~ eenie meenie miney mum ~ 2 Comments

Disclaimer: If you’re part of my family or friends or know me in real life in any capacity, see me at school drop off, might run into me randomly at the supermarket somehow, work with my husband or just generally think I look familiar and you may have met me once, you should probably stop reading this post at this point because it contains more information about my nether regions than you probably need know about. Continue reading →

50 fast facts you never knew you always wanted to know

December 1, 2016December 2, 2016 ~ eenie meenie miney mum ~ 10 Comments

1. If I can hear you chew, I have fantasised about your death.

2. Real pain is when you offer someone some of your food to be polite and they actually take it.

3. I don’t call anyone. I’m basically paying $100 a month to decline incoming calls, forget to Continue reading →

My #mumlife makeup routine

July 21, 2016July 21, 2016 ~ eenie meenie miney mum ~ 14 Comments

I’m at that point in life where I consider brushing my hair as making an effort, so you can imagine my ongoing disgruntlement over the fact that I don’t awaken each morning looking like a glowing, charmingly freckled, incredibly wealthy, fresh faced, Blake Lively. Due to unfortunate circumstances known as genetics, my face doesn’t do that. Nor do I wake up Continue reading →

Owned: parenting like a sucker

June 5, 2016June 5, 2016 ~ eenie meenie miney mum ~ 7 Comments

Wiping your child’s ass is a delicate balance between breathing through your mouth so as to eliminate the invasive odour, but simultaneously attempting to avoid actually inhaling an entire sewerage systems worth of invisible poo particles into your mouth, mid wipe.