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Sex after kids: sometimes you can’t be f*cked

March 24, 2019March 24, 2019 ~ eenie meenie miney mum ~ 1 Comment

the truth OK, so you might have heard a lot about how “parent sex” is basically what happens in the bathroom with the door locked in the 5 minutes the kids are distracted by ABC2.

I’m not gonna lie though, Continue reading →

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I think we all know I would jump this barb wire fence if I wasn’t so uncoordinated and it would likely end in my gruesome demise or at the very least me stuck atop the fence with my underpants permanently wedged up my asscrack and the probability of several hot fireman all up in my 3 week overgrown bikini line, getting me down. Anything for the shot 🤣. Alas no. Like my future second marriage to Chris Hemsworth, I really WANT it but it’s probably not going to happen. . . . . . #adelaide #radelaide #funnymum #mumblog #mummyblog #mumblogger #lifeofamum #wifelife #adelaidemum #mumsofadelaide #mumlife #mother #parent #momlife #mumofthree #samum #family #parenting #adelaideparents #kidsinadelaide #kids #adelaidewriter #adelaidefreelancer #mummyblogger #adelaidekids #streetart #adelaidecity #adelaidecbd #citywalls #wallcharades

The irony of me of all people wearing a cap that boldly states “get a grip” is not lost on me, believe me. Me! The person who attempted a shop at Aldi today only to have a small life crisis amid the special buys because I had forgotten a gold coin for the trolley and was trying to buy a weeks worth of groceries and not only do I not have the muscle mass for that kind of shopping bag dead lifting, I also, as it happened, did not have enough space in my bags for the not one, but TWO pairs of snow boots that I decided I needed, despite the small detail that it doesn’t... in fact... snow... in Adelaide, and that we have no plans to go skiing in either the immediate.. or distant.. future. And HAM. Can a girl not get shaved ham!!?? I don’t want thickly sliced ham packaged in fourteen layers of different textured plastic.. I also don’t need my mushrooms to be individually wrapped... and yet, here we are. At the checkout. With a bunch of shit that I do not, in fact, need, and the stuff I do need, overly packaged in thirteen human proof layers of solid high density polyethylene, being shot at me over the counter as though from a double barrelled machine gun, while I try to hapharzardly ditch them in the reusable bags I DID manage to remember for once in my damn life, turning my avos into guac, my eggs into scramble, my milk into a shake; before fumbling nervously with my wallet like I was being robbed at knife point as I was trying to put my card away while the next persons groceries were being hurled in my general direction with no consideration given to the fact that I was.. still.. standing there. Fuck man. Get a grip indeed.

To all who have enquired about my welfare over the weekend because I haven’t posted a SINGLE IG STORY IN THREE DAYS [I know. I know. It’s a big deal]; I thank you. I am alive and well, and not dead in a ditch somewhere with no access to upload a funny anecdote about how I got there. We went away for the weekend and, much as I would like to say I enforced a screen ban on myself in order to detox and to be present in the moment, the truth is we had no mobile phone service and when I discovered this I spent a solid twenty minutes hyperventilating into a paper bag. . . . . . . #adelaide #radelaide #funnymum #mumblog #mummyblog #mumblogger #lifeofamum #wifelife #adelaidemum #mumsofadelaide #mumlife #mother #parent #momlife #mumofthree #samum #family #parenting #adelaideparents #kidsinadelaide #kids #adelaidewriter #adelaidefreelancer #mummyblogger #adelaidekids #streetart #snowtown #flinders #roadtrip #lifeofamum #wallcharades

I could do something thoroughly unpredictable while we’re road trippin deep into to the South Aussie outback and post a scenic landscape with muted earthy tones, rocky outcrops and a wide expanse of mottled grey cloudless sky, tempered with a hint of Australian native blue gum and sprawling salt bush.. orrrrr I could find a giant painted water tower splashed with pinks and greens and blues and take a photo of that instead 🤣🤣 . . . . . #adelaide #radelaide #funnymum #mumblog #mummyblog #mumblogger #lifeofamum #wifelife #adelaidemum #mumsofadelaide #mumlife #mother #parent #momlife #mumofthree #samum #family #parenting #adelaideparents #kidsinadelaide #kids #adelaidewriter #adelaidefreelancer #mummyblogger #adelaidekids #streetart #snowtown #flinders #roadtrip #lifeofamum #wallcharades

I’m not a regular mum. I’m a cool mum 💁🏼‍♀️ #obviously . . . #adelaide #radelaide #funnymum #mumblog #mummyblog #mumblogger #lifeofamum #wifelife #adelaidemum #mumsofadelaide #mumlife #mother #parent #momlife #mumofthree #samum #family #parenting #adelaideparents #kidsinadelaide #kids #adelaidewriter #adelaidefreelancer #mummyblogger #adelaidekids #streetart #unley #lifeofamum #wallcharades

When I was young, I always dreamed about becoming a mum, so I could spend hours labouring over meals everyone would end up refusing to eat, before forcing miniature versions of myself to brush their hair whilst simultaneously listening to them cry about how they love my husband more than they love me. Living the dream. . . . . . . #adelaide #radelaide #funnymum #mumblog #mummyblog #mumblogger #lifeofamum #wifelife #adelaidemum #mumsofadelaide #mumlife #mother #parent #momlife #mumofthree #samum #family #parenting #adelaideparents #kidsinadelaide #kids #adelaidewriter #adelaidefreelancer #mummyblogger #adelaidekids #mumlife

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